


what is the answer?

by sabishibaby



Category: Carole & Tuesday (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Diary/Journal, Fluff, Hospitals, References to Drugs, Suicidal Thoughts, let them be happy, they're lesbians harold
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:13:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25477471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabishibaby/pseuds/sabishibaby
Summary: angela is in hospital, recovering from her collapse due to drug use and stress. sometimes she thinks about people. sometimes she writes about them. and sometimes, she doesn't.and while she's here, she reflects.when everything is gone... what is the answer?
Relationships: Tuesday Simmons/Carole Stanley/Angela Carpenter
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	what is the answer?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rei (my lovely friend on amino)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=rei+%28my+lovely+friend+on+amino%29).



irony is a cruel, cruel thing.

that's what angela thinks, anyway. only days ago, her mother lay in a bed just like this one, in this very hospital. did she feel this empty? did she feel this solemn? angela... wished she could have at least said goodbye. with a shaky hand, she picked up a pen and her journal (it was a gift from carole and tuesday. it made her feel awful, considering the way she'd always seen them as rivals, and yet they cared) and opened to a fresh, lined page, staring down at the paper. without thinking, she began to write.

_**the hospital is hectic around me. always beeping, clanging, whispering and making other unsightly noises in my ears. how did my mother even stand it? i might just go berserk if i spend another day here.** _

_**i still feel the effects of my drug use. my eyes feel heavy and i probably look awful without my makeup on. everything feels heavy. everything hurts and shakes.** _

_**everything is gone.** _

_**and when everything is gone, what is the answer?** _

\---

the next day was just like the last, uneventful and repeating, the sounds of the hospital ringing in her ears and giving her a headache. when she was being examined, they'd found out she was horribly underweight. _well, duh,_ she'd thought. _i'm an experienced model. 99% of us are underweight because we have to please the media._

still, it wasn't like they'd know. they probably had better things to do than flip through magazines.

_**they're trying to make me gain weight but my body just won't do it. i don't think it's going to happen anytime soon, since my body is used to being this weight, and it has been for so long.** _

_**i still don't feel good. i don't want to be alive anymore.** _

_**i wish they hadn't saved me.** _

_**when everything is gone, what is the answer?** _

\---

visitors were allowed, which made angela perk up. tao would come and see her, right? he still cared. he had to. he was going to, she knew it.

still, hours passed. one, two, three four, and tao hadn't come to visit.

_**i suppose he doesn't need me.** _

_**he probably has a new protege.** _

_**tao... i want to see you.** _

the sound of a door opening made angela startle in surprise, and she looked up, a smile coming to her face. tao?

no.

it was carole, and behind her stood tuesday. angela blinked slowly, and then looked down in slight disappointment- tao hadn't come to see her, and now these girls were here to drown her in pity and make her feel even worse about herself than she already felt. angela's feelings of wanting to die increased the slightest bit and she gave a small groan.

"what? are you here to laugh at me now that i've fallen from grace?"

the two girls who had walked into the room stood awkwardly, shocked by how angela still managed to be so sharp tongued. tuesday opened her mouth as if about to speak, but closed it, moving behind carole slightly.

"hey, angela." carole sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "we're not here to laugh, but we're not here to pity you. and we aren't scorning you either. this is just the good thing to do, okay? we were concerned about you when..."

"shut up, shut up, **shut up**! you don't get to say ANYTHING about being concerned about me. you don't get to say anything about caring! your piss-poor alcoholic manager was always fighting with my mother, always insisting you were better, and i always achieved higher than you and i-" angela's voice broke and tears began to stream freely down her face, her shoulders shaking as she spoke, voice trembling. "-and i wanted to see tao, b-but he's never going to come see me because he probably has a new protege, and- and i'll never be able to achieve my mother's dream, and- and-!"

"...angela..."

a softer voice out of the two spoke up- tuesday had stepped forward, fiddling with her blonde hair in her fingers. she moved closer to the hospital bed, slowly taking one of angela's hands in her own, trying to soothe the girl.

"...um, it's okay to cry. please, we didn't mean to upset you, we just wanted to see you... if you want us to go, then-"

"..no." angela muttered, looking off to the side. "you're here now. even if you... have an insufferable manager, and... and you're so nice to me that i hate it, i would feel bad if i made you go back now." why were they so nice to her? they were always worried, they never bit back at her when she made taunting remarks. she hated that it was a one-sided rivalry. she hated... that she couldn't return that kindness.

"hey, angela." carole moved to angela's other side. "listen. we just thought you needed the company." she absentmindedly wove angela's soft hair between her fingers, humming as she did so. "and it's not so bad."

"no," angela responded begrudgingly. "i suppose it isn't."

\---

hours of talking had passed, and both carole and tuesday had fallen asleep. tuesday had pulled up a chair and fallen asleep with her head rested against angela's lap, breathing softly- carole, meanwhile, was propped up against the smaller girl's shoulder. angela was awake but made no effort to move the two. even if carole's hair WAS tickling her face, and the weight of tuesday's upper body on her lap was giving her pins and needles. it was comforting.

she picked up the journal, humming softly to herself.

_**they're both asleep now, and it's comfortable, in a weird way. maybe their manager and that feminine looking boy they're always with will pick them up soon. i have to say though, i enjoyed their company. they were ~~almost as good as~~ better than tao. ** _

_**i wonder if they listen to girl in red. for some reason, i hope they do. why am i blushing when i write that? i've gone a bit strange.** _

_**when everything is gone, what is the answer?** _

_**i wouldn't know. because not everything is gone.** _

_**signing off,** _

_**angela :)** _


End file.
